Time for a change...

"They" say that you shouldn't run from your problems. I don't know how many times in my life that I've been told that before. But those same people are unable to see my point of view. There is a time to face your problems head on. And there is a time to leave those problems in the dust, especially when those problems are bringing you and your loved ones down.

Now is such a time. For many reasons, it has come time to "run". These problems have been addressed, discussed, hashed, re-hashed...and there's just no resolution. I've followed the "good girl" rules....and that go me no where. I've put others first, and now it's time to put first the needs of my family.

1. I need to seek out better healthcare for my husband. In 2009, he underwent a surgery that was botched. But there is nothing we can legally do about it because the institution where he had it done is immune to malpractice lawsuits. Yes. In the state of Ohio, you can't sue for malpractice if a resident physician is in the room. And it was a resident who operated on my husband. We have consulted physicians not only in the state of Ohio, but all the big names... They all say either one of two things: that they can't help him because his case is too complicated, or the suggest we go to a group of guys out in California that specialize the care that Matt needs. We've exhausted insurance appeals and legal proceedings.... to no avail. It's time to get the heck out of here.

2. My career isn't going to go anywhere here. There are just too many people in this area who do what I do. I can't get ahead because of so many people having more experience than me. And there are only so many health systems in this area....3. That's it. I need to go somewhere where there is more diversity and more opportunity.

3. My husband's career has been ruined. Between the medical issue above, and a partner that it has turned out can't be worked with....he's being pretty much forced to give up all that he had worked for. Tell me, would you let someone run a company that you started, run it in YOUR NAME, but you had to give up all decision making capabilities and get paid pennies for it. Not to mention it's illegal to run a business on someone else's license. Oh...and get "demoted" while doing it. I'm not going to get too much into this one. It's a sore subject.

4. Family relations have gone down the tube. My parents, Matt's parents.... nothing is there. In my case, my father has not spoken to me in 7.5 years. My mother and adopted dad refuse to take interest in my life, my decisions, my husband.... I get the feeling if it's not about their "church"...then it's worthless. The phone, email, internet, snailmail, highway....all these networks go BOTH WAYS. It's not fair to me to do ALL the work to maintain a relationship with my mother. Especially when I have the above to deal with. Matt's parents seem to act like we aren't good enough. Matt eats too much, smokes too much (even though he has all but quit), doesn't do this right. Doesn't do that right. We aren't good enough Christians because we don 't go to church every Sunday and we don't spend 4 nights a week at church. We don't handle money correctly. We don't do this, we don't do that. You know....we are 30 years old.... We can only take that BS for so long. The only family that is keeping me where I'm at is my Grandma and Grandpa Buettner. The parents of the father that disowned me. The only thing that's going to break my heart if (more like when) Matt and I move far away is leaving them behind. They aren't in that great of health and I already lost a lot of time with them thanks to my idiot father and step-mother when I was a kid.

But Matt and I can't keep going on like this. It is not good for our mental health. We have been so depressed and down trodden the past several months.... We have to get out and make a change because nothing is going to change if we stay where we are at. We need to get somewhere, get him into a surgeon who can repair the damage, and start fresh in that new place and start a family. While we still can.